Jesse is a “settled down” traveller (some of you may still call them gypsies) who runs a scrap yard .

 He had some fun and games when the law began to insist on concrete bases and environmentally correct removal of liquids from the old cars he got in, but he managed it after making friends with some concrete mixer drivers who needed somewhere to dump leftover concrete. Let’s just say that his yard base isn’t “very” level, and resembles something of a patchwork quilt.

 Now this bit is funny. Jesse, like many travellers, grew up cooking and brewing on a ‘yog’ or open fire. So when the concrete came he used the inside drum of an old washing machine (my suggestion, after seeing it elsewhere) for the fire. But, then, how to sort out a kettle iron for hanging the kettle in the flames ?

 Not a big problem. We dragged an old lorry axle into pace and he welded the iron to the casing… if you have never seen stick welding using a car battery then you should try to. It’s amazing.

 A week or two later I popped in to find him in a bad mood. Whilst he had been out, one of his sons had sold the axle… “wiv me kittle iron still stuck to it” ! (It isn’t as if there isn’t plenty of metal around to bend into another iron, that wasn’t the point!)

 But that’s not the point of this story which started with Pat Webster, who regular readers might remember has a Ser 1, a Discovery and a dork for a son (hi Alan), ‘phoning me up to say that another friend of ours had been past Jesse’s that morning and spotted: “One of them Land Rovers that you and Frank like, being unloaded.”

 Pat had been for a look and it was a Ser 1, seemingly in reasonable nick, and would I : A. Come and cast my eye over it to see if it would make a spares donor; B. Deal with Jesse or one of his lads; and C. All other things being equal help me to get it back to his, if/when he can buy it?

 One millisecond after he asked I said “yes”. Of course.

 When I got to Pat’s he had his Ser 1 started up. I suggested that if we went in that he’d be giving a clue to Jesse that he might be over keen, so we went in my L322, which Jesse knows of course.

 At the yard (where Jesse actually lives, although the council don’t know, in a mixture of a log cabin and old showman’s trailer, cunningly surrounded by car bodies ) we immediately saw the Ser 1 “scrapper” drawn up just inside the gate.

 Jesse, sitting on an old oil-drum next to his yog – minus one kettle crane  – nodded, I said hello and walked over to the Landy. 

 No engine, but the gearbox was there. Regular readers may remember that we fitted a”new-to-him” gearbox in Pat’s a while ago, then I rebuilt his old one which now sits, slathered in oil and wrapped up at the back of his workshop. Still, another wouldn’t go amiss. Both axles were there compete with hubs and brake components, tatty wheels and tires (with air in!), steering column (no steering wheel), most of the bits and pieces, apart from the engine, in the bay. Chassis had obviously been repaired in a couple of places, but looked fine. Seat box and body panels had a few holes – some folk I know can repair them – but the bulkhead seems to have been made out of lace.

 Body cappings looked good – too good for a vehicle of that age so, perhaps, replacements; no hood, but a full set of hoops, again so good they must have been replacements.

 With almost a full set of glass lights as well, it would make a reasonable parts motor if the bits fitted his 1952.

 There was no chassis plate but Jesse had the logbook – a while since I’ve seen one of those in a scrapyard, they’re worth a lot in their own right to a …er… “collector”. First registered 1953 – result !

 I won’t bore you with the bargaining. Like many a traveller Jesse likes a deal. He started silly-high; I bid, on Pat’s behalf, silly-low and, after a cup of tea (served in Crown Derby cups, but brewed in Jesse’s “house” to his disgust) I reckon I got Pat a bargain and Jesse was happy as well. Pat would rather I don’t say how much in case he chops-on some of the bits to one of you lot !

 Pat still hasn’t fitted a winch to his trailer (despite my sourcing it for him) so we had to push and pull his purchase on ourselves… with the help of a few of Jesse’s sons.

 I don’t know how many sons Jesse has, but on the parking outside I’ve seen up to four brand-new Mercedes cars at a time. All next to Jesse’s brand-new Range Rover. Yes, this bloke – regular outfit, worn-down dealer boots, old cord trousers, oil stained waistcoat and trilby – drives a brand new Range Rover – one every two years!

 Of course, he always tells me he’s: “struggling to put a bit o’ bread on the table…”

———————————————————-

I was watching the TV programme, Car SOS, recently when the two presenters were underneath a rusty Range Rover that was up on ramps poking away with screwdrivers – and neither of them was wearing safety specs…

———————————————————

———————————————————————–

 Would you put a parking ticket on a Range Rover belonging to The Duke of Edinburgh’s royal protection officers ? One traffic warden did.

 Prince Phillip was in hospital recently for a few weeks. He wasn’t allowed any Royal visitors although Charles, his son, drove – again in a Range Rover – from his home to visit. An illegal, under lockdown rules, round trip of nearly 200 miles.

 The motor used by Phillip’s blokes was parked outside King Edward VII’s Hospital in London, where it was issued with a fixed penalty notice by the traffic warden. A witness said the fine was attached to the car’s windscreen after it was left on double yellow lines.

 The protection officers had reportedly gone inside for “a couple of hours”, leaving the vehicle parked in the illegal spot. When they appeared again, one of the officers removed the ticket and the Range Rover was moved.

 I’ve seen a photograph of the warden fixing the ticket but can’t put it on here ‘cos of copyright.

________________________________________

A bloke inherited a fortune. He’d always wanted a Land Rover so off he went to the local showroom.

 Small problem, he had hardly driven in his life. Of course, he doesn’t mention that to the salesman, and the next thing he knows, he’s driving a Discovery Sport at top speed down the motorway.

 Suddenly, just as he’s reaching top speed, there’s an almighty bang from the engine, and smoke starts pouring from the car.

So he calls the salesman, and explains that it wasn’t his fault, something must have been wrong with the car.

 The salesman takes some persuading, but the client is extremely rich, so he agrees to let him have another car.

 This time, it’s a new Defender V8. Off he went – top speed down the motorway – when once again, there was an huge bang, and the engine leapt three feet out of its mountings.

 The salesman isn’t as easy to convince, but… well, this is a rich customer, so he eventually agrees to give the bloke one more chance, but this time he insists that he goes with him, so he can see what is going on.

 So they drive to the motorway, and the man starts accelerating. The car (it’s a Range Rover this time) shifts past fourth gear, to fifth; then to sixth. The car is going way over the speed limit, but he keeps accelerating.

 The salesman is holding onto his seatbelt for dear life. He closes his eyes in terror.

 Then suddenly, the car shakes violently, the engine makes an exploding noise, the car swerves, and finally comes to a halt on the hard shoulder.

“What happened?” yells the salesman.

 “Well, I was going faster and faster, and I ran out of numbered gears… so I put it into ‘R’ – for ‘Race’.”

________________________________________

——————————————————————

A friend emailed me asking a question about a part number for his 1989 Range Rover Classic. I dug my Classic parts book off the shelf. No use to him, I realised, it’s dated February 1977.

 Like many Land Rover/Range Rover people I used to buy the parts book for whatever I was driving. Often, when working on a car the exploded parts diagrams were more use than the workshop manual (yes, I bought those as well).

 Actually, none of my parts books is any use to me now. I have the P38, dated Sept 1994, the two parter… then there is the  Ser111, 88, 109 & 109V8 dated March 1986 and  the One Ten,  Oct 1989. 

————————————————————-

Like most people these days I spend a lot of time perusing Facebook and Instagram, and I recently realised that the pedantic ones amongst us have lost the battle. 

 All Series and 110 and Ninety Land Rovers are now routinely referred to as Defenders…

——————————————————-

As I put my Range Rover into reverse gear I thought: “This takes me back.”

What about the Land Rover Defender Works V8 Trophy, then? It’s a bit of a mouthful for a motor vehicle model name,  but starting at £190,000 for the Ninety the price seems to have been the main talking point so far.

 My own first observation, upon reading the story was  – 405Ps and 515Nm of Torque and 0-60mph in 5.6sec  on mud tyres ? You’ve got to be effing joking. I don’t care what brakes and suspension upgrades they come up with. These vehicles are never going to handle like sports cars, so why on earth can they drive as quickly as sports cars ?

 Second thought… brownie points for whoever at Land Rover came up with this very cost effective (it should be at those prices anyway) way of using up all those NOS (new old stock) body panels and other bits and pieces they had left over  after stopping the old-style Defender production. I mean, do you know anyone who buys Genuine Parts from their Land Rover dealer ? No, me neither.

 It does make me wonder how many other limited edition versions of the Defender the company might turn out. I know they are a mass production company these days but if people will really spend this money then I am not going to blame Land Rover for taking it to the bank.

 Let’s face it, now that they have announced that they will only build electric-powered vehicles from 2025 they probably have loads of bits and pieces to get off the shelves.

 I do wonder, ‘tho, what will happen if they run out of body parts when they are part way to building a new limited edition? Who they will buy the parts from !

 In my blogs of November and October last year the subject of prices was to the fore again. If you think the Trophy is a tad expensive check out the price of the Bowler.

 …and it seems that on every street corner these days there is a company offering “rebuilt” Land Rovers and Range Rovers – “rebuilt” to, some of them say, a higher standard than the originals from the factory.

 In absolutely no order of importance, and without searching, just off the top of my head I can think of Retro Defenders; Hayward Revive; Twisted; TMD; Arkonik, Overfinch and Kingsley.

 If you have loadsa money have a look at their websites – yes, if I win the lottery I will go to one of them immediately – but, if like me you have limits and you are fortunate enough to already own a Land Rover product (any model) then, take my tip, keep it going and look after it…

—————————————————

 Now then, look at the pic hereabouts from a Canadian company called Aqualu Industries Inc.

 Yes, it is what it looks like, a Land Rover body. …but, here’s the thing, it doesn’t fit a Land Rover chassis !

 Here’s some of the reply I got from emailing them.

 “ This first body was based off the Land Rover series 2 body style, however once in production we will be modeling them after the Land Rover Defender 90 and 110 series. We plan to offer the Defender 90 in a 2 door and the Defender 110 in a 4 door version.

“The body, bulkhead and cowl will be a solid one piece unit and will NOT be made to accept the original components. 

   “We plan to offer the body, fenders, grill, windshield frame, half doors and a storage tailgate. The accessories we will be offering will NOT work on the stock bodies. We will NOT be offering replacement panels for the original bodies, only a complete replacement body.

   “However, at this moment they come with either no body mounts so that the end user is able to put it on any frame they wish, or it comes with body mounts for a 2007-2018 four-door Jeep JK frame. We chose the JK frame mainly because of the sheer volume of JK’s produced in their 11 year run as well as the massive aftermarket support for these frames.”

———————————————————

A bloke on Instagram posted a collection of photographs of oil spots on drives and parking spaces. I wonder what make of car he drives ?

 I remember visiting a friend about a thousand years ago and parking on his drive.

 On the way home my phone rang. It was my friend to tell me that he had noticed some spots of oil on his drive so he was warning me that I had an oil leak.

 Guess what make of car I was driving ?

———————————————————-

 Last month I mentioned that if the Boge strut on early Range Rovers and 110s was fitted, and leaked, it would fail the MOT.

 If it wasn’t fitted it wasn’t tested.

 Another one of those lovely inconsistencies was the reversing lamp. 

 One year I rocked up to the testing centre in PKV, my 110, and the reversing light didn’t come on when the tester shifted into reverse gear.

 This was an early 110 where the reversing light (and the rear fog light on the other side) were added on, not built into the body.

 So, whilst the tester went outside for a cig-break, I rummaged inside PKV for a small breaker bar, and used it to rip the reversing light off the vehicle.

 The test didn’t cover a couple of loose wires hanging out of a slightly deformed hole in the back – so I passed.

 Of course I wouldn’t have done that if I hadn’t got a couple of 55 watt work lamps on the back of my roof rack to use as  reversing lights when needed.

 Back home I tidied up the wiring, separating and insulating both wires neatly, then covered the hole with a pop-riveted piece of metal. Hand-painted Dark Bronze Green, of course !

 This story refers to the UK MOT test of course, in other countries different rules apply to vehicle testing.

————————————————-

 I was reminded in an email the other day (because we still cannot meet) by Bill Jones that one of my most dreaded phrases in a workshop manual is “first remove the five retaining bolts”…

 My reasoning for this dread is simple.

 Three of these bolts come undone with no more than the usual skinned knuckles; one will not come off no matter what tools, friends, ideas you throw at it – and you can’t find the fifth.

—————————————————-

 In the Rover V8 Appreciation group on Facebook a guy who is fitting a V8 in a Vauxhall Victor asked for tips and a discussion.

 Geri Allen replied: “It goes in the front”. Maybe the whiskey I had partaken played a part but I was giggling at that one for hours afterwards.

——————————————————-

 Talking of Facebook – as one does these days. A guy posted asking what anti-freeze he should put in his vehicle (it doesn’t matter what vehicle for the sake of this story).

 Of course half a dozen people popped up with the right answer then someone told him off for asking. He should look it up in a manual.

 What on earth is wrong with asking a perfectly simple question on the internet to whom, we might suppose, would be like-minded people ?

——————————————————-

 I’ve finally got ‘round to sorting out my filing cabinets – after 11 years living in Elson Towers 2 I thought I might as well.

 In one file I found a paper copy of an article when a bloke wrote: “I purchased a Spartan (kit car). Unfortunately this one had been built by a cowboy with a club hammer and a welding set. Orange boxes (really) had been used for the dashboard and other panels, the fuel tank was floating about on bits of wire.”

 I must have kept it all those years ago because made me smile. So it’s not just us Land Roverists who can bodge.

————————————————————-

 This year is the 35th Anniversary of David Bowyer’s Off Road Centre. To celebrate, David has a new website www.davidbowyer.co.uk 

 Although he sold Goodwinch three years ago, David is still very busy at his centre in Devon. On his website you can read all about the Off-Road Driver Training, Winching & Recovery Courses, Social Mornings and Drive Round Days that take place nearby under the direction of James Trembath of 4×4 Adventures.

  David in his workshops still makes up kits of Roof Lockers and Seat Riser kits for Land Rovers. The website is a mine of information and tips on using CB and VHF/HF communication for Green Laning and Expeditions in vehicles, he himself being a Radio Amateur Operator, M1AEI, and a keen Green Laner. 

 Also of interest, David shares some archive articles about his centre going back some 35 years together with other historical happenings involving him and Land Rovers. 

I heard about a guy refurbishing a Range Rover Classic who was pleased to find a NOS (new old stock) Boge self-levelling strut.

 It reminded me of those day when a debate raged about these struts.

 In case you are not aware, the strut was fitted to an A-frame under the rear of the early Range Rovers and, when a a lot of weight was carried in the back, the strut would pump up and level up the rear. Some of the earliest 110s had it as well.

 You need to remember that this was in the days before anyone could just go out and buy a set of 2ins lift heavy duty suspension for Range Rovers – or any other Land Rover come to that. So those of us who wanted a bit more ground clearance and tougher suspension for hard off-roading and carrying all that recovery gear, had to come up with our own ideas.

 It’s so long ago now that I can’t remember exactly what we came up with for the 1972 Range Rover, OSM 400M, that I rebuilt, but it was something like Ninety rear coils on the front and hi-cap rears on the back. Gas shocks were easy even in those days. I chose Rancho. I think we measured a 1.5 ins lift from this setup.

 Now, back to the Boge strut. The debate I referred to above was about whether to keep it or not.

 If it was fitted and leaked, you would fail an MOT. And to replace it was a lot of money. So the idea spread that if it was cut off with an angle grinder, and the cut nub end rounded off, ninety per cent of MOT inspectors wouldn’t know something was supposed to be there and, therefore, not fail it.

 The feeling was that, with up-rated suspension the strut was superfluous anyway.

 Having thought, and talked it over with my mates, I cut mine off – a lot easier at the time as we were down to a rolling chassis.

 I recall that, at about the same time Russell Fisher, the editor of  the then 4×4 Magazine also cut the one off the chassis that was being used to build the famous TEW 100 inch hybrid.

 Whatever the coils I came up with for OSM I never had a moment’s problem with the suspension so I was happy enough.

 The story doesn’t quite end there tho.

 Some time later, when I wrote a feature story on the work of the Greater Manchester Police Motorway Unit for the newspaper I worked for at the time, it was hard not to notice the large numbers of Range Rovers they were using.

 I wrote freelance articles on off-roading and Land Rovers for various magazines over the years and I suggested to the editor of whichever one I wrote for at the time that an article about the recovery gear GMP Rangies carried might go down well.

 I got the nod.

 In those days when we had to put our own kit together, from places like sailing chandleries and professional crane and lifting companies we found a few things the bobbies did were useful.

 For instance, just inside the tailgate, there was a sheath knife fixed to the interior. My police guide explained that if someone was trapped in a vehicle by their seatbelt the knife had to be close at hand – and every Police Range Rover would have it in the same place. (Again, this would be before those seatbelt cutting gizmos hit the market)

 Another idea I picked up on was the flat recovery strops. They rolled up into a smaller space than a rope to store and, if covered in mud they could be hosed down whilst lying flat, where ropes would trap mud and stones inside the yarns which could weaken them.

 I loved the comment about one strop when I asked what the breaking strain was: “I dunno, but it will pull a loaded artic. (old man-speak for HGV) off the carriageway on its side!”

 And finally I get to the point of this story. The Rangie was loaded. It took three bobbies a good half an hour to empty the whole thing for the sake of my story and a photograph.

 I remarked on the weight and asked if they carried out any suspension modifications.

 The story was that they would like to but had not been allowed to – remove the self-levelling strut.

 I was told that (at the time, it may have changed now) any modifications from standard needed a request to “on high” and removing the strut had been refused.

 They said that the self-levelling strut, sensing all that weight, pumped the motor up as high as it could go as soon as it hit the road.

 This wasn’t a problem in normal motoring but, when weaving in and out of traffic at speed in an emergency, or chase, the normal suspension at each side barely worked so that the whole rear end pivoted on the strut. Quite frankly, they said, it was dangerous at high speeds. 

 They were jealous when I told them I’d cut mine off.

 …Oh, and as an aside. I have spoken to many people over the years who fitted “Police Spec.” springs to their Range Rover or Land Rover. They didn’t you know. There is no such thing outside of the marketing man’s imagination.

——————————————————

Sticking with suspension for a moment or two.

 I once wrote, in a magazine, that I am opposed to replacing the air springs on the P38 and L322  Range Rover with coils.

 My reasoning was that those airbags were engineered to go with the weight of those vehicles (and incidentally, didn’t have the Boge strut ‘cos the air suspension is self-levelling anyway). I doubt if the same expertise – and expense – has gone into manufacturing coils for those motors.

 However, given that the soft dash Range Rover Classic was originally designed for coils I can’t see any good reason why the air suspension fitted to that model can’t be changed

—————————————————

Am I the only person in the universe who thinks that the Lego Land Rover is ugly, with only a vague resemblance to a Land Rover ? Oh, and the colour is horrible as well…

…and am I the only person who is frightened to open my electrically-powered sunroof ? What if I can’t get it closed again ?

————————————————

 I’m not sure if I’ve written this in my blog, or in some magazine or another years ago but I was reminded of it the other day so…

 A bunch of us from work (obviously before I retired) were in the pub and a conversation started: “what’s your dream car?”.

 It went around the table with Ferrari and Mustang etc etc, until it got to me. Slightly embarrassed I said: “I drive my dream car…” (Range Rover in case any of you are wondering!)

———————————————

There is a saying: “A picture paints a thousand words.”

…it takes words to say that.

A discussion on Facebook asked if we need to put the letters back on after bodywork and paint ?

 It reminded me of when I rebuilt OSM 400M, my Range Rover classic about a thousand years ago. Some of the old ‘uns amongst you may remember the series I wrote in the then 4×4 Magazine about the rebuild ?

 In those days I was an advocate of adding and carrying absolutely anything and everything that might be of use when out off-roading – and as the letters were of no use I didn’t put them on after painting the motor.

 So it was, at a family wedding, that cousin John asked if my big muddy motor in the car park was: “one of those Japanese four wheel drives?” Because there was a Yokohama sticker on the tailgate… damn’ good tyres those as well.

 …then, as it does, my mind wandered around and alighted on the time I bought B791 PKV.

 A 1984 110 (well, 1983 really, but one of that group of 110s with siding windows, bought back from dealers by Land Rover when the Ninety came out and wind-down windows were fitted to Ninety and 110) PKV had the stick-on stripes all down each side.

My plan was to remove the stripes and change the vehicle colour from Sheepshagger Blue (see my blog dated May 2019 Gaydon Show report for an explanation of that colour name).

 Now, we all know how to remove stickers don’t we ? Yes, we get the hot air gun on the stickers, gently warm them up and peel them off. We DON’T get the wife’s hair-dryer ‘cos that burns out and we get in trouble.

 It was November. So well-wrapped up and camping chair shuffling along the drive I got on with the job. It took a couple of hours.

 Wrapped up I may have been but of course, as one hand was operating the gun, and the other hand was peeling, I couldn’t wear gloves.

 Job done on the stickers themselves I decided to leave the glue removal (I use Meths, you can use petrol or WD40) and went in the house for a wash up and brew.

 It seems that my freezing hands hadn’t felt the few times I had touched them with the (red-hot) air gun… but as I put them under the hot water tap they came to life… agony wasn’t in it. Seven small blisters I had for just over a week.

 There is an aside-moving on story to this adventure, as there so often is with me.

 My beloved Marjorie didn’t like green cars (although when we met I drove a Nato-Green Lightweight !) . When I bought the 110 I was still enamoured of the superb photographs in my old mate Bob Morrison’s book “Land Rovers In The Gulf” covering vehicles in the Gulf War so I decided to paint PKV in Nato-Sand.

  After the glue was removed I spent half an hour rubbing down the blue by hand and then used a four-inch brush for the big bits and a one-inch for round the edges and fiddly bits to get the Sand on. About two hours I think it took.

 To be honest it looked a bit odd. We couldn’t put a finger on it but looking back I think it might have been a combination of a thin coat of Sand over the Blue… it looked odd.

 Matters came to a head when a work colleague described the colour as “Nappy Poo”…

 Which is why those of you who knew and loved my PKV for many years after that all know her as Dark-Bronze Green… my Marjorie had taken pity on me.

—————————————-

Here in the UK we’ve been split up into tiers – 1,2 and 3, then they added 4 – with different rules for dealing with the pandemic.

 Travel, for instance, we are not supposed to drive for “unnecessary” journeys between tiers.

 In fact, one newspaper article Marjorie just read out to me says that if you are caught driving between tiers your car insurance could be invalid.

 I’ve had arguments with friends – particularly some from the USA – about how insurance can be invalidated.

 The simple story is that a driver  and an insurance company enter into a contract. If a driver breaks the contract, by adding accessories to a Land Rover for instance,  then the insurance company considers that the cover is invalid.

 It seems, then, that they are saying the same for driving outside of the law – like travelling between tiers.

 Interesting…

———————————————- 

If you surf t’internet much as a Land Rover fan you may well have come across this design study by artist Samir Sadikhov… 

—————————————————-

For those of us with modern motors loaded down with electrickery – like my L322 –  it’s flat battery time again.

 If you are one of those lucky people who can park it up for a week to two then turn up and start with one turn of the key, then good for you. Mine will go flat if I leave it for more than three days. Hence, I go out and have a drive around the block every two days – and a nice two hours up into the Lancashire countryside  once a week to give it a good charge.

 The position of the battery in the L322 is so stupid that I can’t face pulling the battery to put it on charge, and because of the explosive “safety” device on the positive pole I’m not going to try to charge it in situ. 

 It’s all very annoying.

—————————————————-

Again on Facebook a bloke was asking about fitting a smaller steering wheel to his Series to use in trials. Would it help ?

 I mentioned the steering knob almost everybody fitted in the “old days”  and I was surprised when only one person clicked “like”.

 Am I the only person who remembers these knobs which almost everyone had – even some green laners –  before power steering ?

——————————————————

I liked this tip I read in “G-Wac Notes”, from the Project Jay Preservation Group and reproduce it here with Roy Preston’s permission.

 “With the old steps removed I took the opportunity to take the plastic sill finishers off to give the sills a good scrape and paint. 

“Removing the plastic rivet fasteners is a fiddly job if you want to retain the pegs that secure them. I sometimes drill a small hole in the peg, insert a small self-tapper and with a pair of pliers give the self-tapper a good pull and the whole rivet comes out. “

The lazy method is to punch the peg through, but you then lose it to the inner sill, and they cannot be retrieved. But all is not lost. If you raid your wife’s/girlfriend’s knitting box and select a size 5 knitting needle (a plastic one), you just need a short piece to replace the peg that is lost to the sill. (Don’t forget to put a point on the shortened needle or you will be in trouble! Perhaps it would be better to take the pair, because a very short size 5 would be noticed). Roy Preston.”

 Those plastic rivet fasteners are all over Land Rovers of course, not just Roy’s Discovery. So a good tip.

—————————————————-

Most people have more than the average number of legs…

I’m sure a lot of you will already have seen the news about Land Rover and Bowler.

 But just in case, here’s something I took from the press release:

 “The original Land Rover Defender silhouette will live on as Land Rover grants Bowler a license to use the iconic shape.

 Land Rover has given Bowler Motors, part of their Special Vehicle Operations division, permission to produce vehicles using the classic Defender shape in the next phase of development for its all-terrain performance cars and rally raid vehicles.

 The new agreement paves the way for Bowler to develop a new family of high-performance models, beginning with a project codenamed ‘CSP 575’ which will combine Bowler’s own rally-proven CSP high-strength steel chassis with Land Rover’s potent 575PS 5.0-litre Supercharged V8, four sports seats, a roll cage and some comfort features such as air conditioning.

 First photographs give a glimpse of the planned station wagon, available in limited numbers from 2021, initially in UK and EU, with an indicative UK price of £200,000.

Land Rover advise this project will supplement the on going motorsport developments that are the foundation of Bowler’s past, present and future plans…”

 One can’t help but wonder if this plan has anything to do with the Ineos Grenadier Defender-copy ?

 Having met and interviewed Drew Bowler a few times I’m not sure how he would have taken the news himself. In fact I’m not sure if he’d have sold his company to Land Rover in the first place.

 What is really interesting is the price.

 £200,000 really ?

 Last month I mentioned the Range Rover Chieftain with prices around £147,500.

 Of course they are not the only company with similar projects.

 There is Kingsley Motors for a start. The Oxfordshire-based company with a reputation for chassis-up “reborn” Classics that are, to all intents and purposes like new… in fact you might call them better than new.

 They produce two: The KC Series – Range Rover Classic 2 Door restored “for the Purist” from £69,995 + donor car ( plus VAT ).

 Then there is the KR Series - a Range Rover Classic 2 Door which has been ‘Re-engineered’ and enhanced for everyday use from £99,750 + donor car (plus VAT ).

 The KR Series is re-engineered from a very late (up to 1993) rust-free RRC from the ground up with a load of options and upgrades to the engine, suspension and brakes and a wide range of cosmetic and interior options to make the vehicle truly unique and more usable. I’m not sure, myself, about all the electronic gizmos – one of the charms of a Classic is that it doesn’t have all the stuff my L322 has.

 Are you still looking at the prices ?

 Another interesting company I found is Arkonik.

 This company builds Nineties from £95,000 and 110s from £110,000. Their website isn’t the best I have ever seen but the gist seems to be rebuilds and remodels to your own spec.

 They say they’ve built “hundreds” mostly selling to the US which isn’t surprising given the prices.

 After about thirty minutes trawling the website I did find one that they build: “a revolutionary RHD ‘restomod’ build with an LS3 6.2L engine and 6-speed automatic transmission.”

 We all know (er… do “we”? well I do) about the Kahn and Overfinch tarted up present-day vehicles, but I’ve not mentioned them here ‘cos the others, Kingsley, JIA (Chieftan) and Arkonik work on older models and vehicles.

 There will be others I’m sure but I started to lose the will to live after working my way through the three websites.

 Have you SEEN the prices ?

 

—————————————— 

Talking of prices…

 I was having a wander around ebay – like you do – when I found out that Range Rover Classic badges are selling for £150. 

 I didn’t know that they were that rare. 

—————————————————-

A Facebook friend posted up a photograph of his Land Rover being recovered on a trailer.

 Of course a bunch of us posted up the pics we have of ours being recovered  and then someone said it’s a great way to travel. It saves on fuel.

 This reminded me of the student at Manchester University about a thousand years ago whose home was in Exeter.

 He drove an Austin Champ… yep, pretty heavy on fuel for trips home.

 The Champ was an attempt by Austin to steal the Army light-vehicle business from Land Rover and, as a result, the build included some pretty way-out equipment for the day.

 One of these items was some sort of black box engine management system – that’s how it was described to me back in the day.

 Back to our student. One day he set off for Exeter from Manchester, got just a few miles down the road and his vehicle “ceased to function”. He wasn’t a numpty and soon worked out what it was – the black box.

 He called the RAC who sent someone out who agreed it was the black box, completely unrepairable and rare as hen’s teeth.

 Ah, but our lad had a spare – back home in Exeter. Not a problem, under his RAC plan he could be recovered home. He was. He replaced the black box, got his washing done and set off back to Manchester.

 It didn’t take him long to have an idea.

 Just a few miles into his journey he replaced the working box with the u/s one, phoned the RAC and, yes, got a free lift all the way to Manchester.

 Then, one day, he set off for home and did it again. Out came the RAC. The mechanic took a look at it and said: “Oh, it’s the black box, I remember those when I was in the Army, don’t worry, I can fix it.”

 So there was our friend at the side of the road with no petrol and no money!

————————————————

I am always hearing, these days, about companies that don’t answer emails.

 Time and time again we hear the same story about someone interesting in buying, or paying for a service, who fire off an email asking for a quote, or more information and then hear nothing.

 Now it’s finally happened to me. I do like to tell you lot about all sorts of things to do with off-roading, Land Rovers, camping etc. It’s what I’ve been doing for thirty years.

 I almost always ask,’tho, if they want a free plug. It’s just good manners really, hardly anyone ever says no.

 Except that in the last four weeks I have emailed someone who has an interesting Youtube channel, and a company who run camping/off-roading holidays …and no answer from either.

 So what do I do ? I still think some you would be interested in them – but I just don’t feel inclined to reward bad manners.

__________________________________________

We were talking in our “Lockdown Pub” – which is my or Bill Jones’ garage for the foreseeable future – about some of those silly mistakes we made when we were young.

 In those far off days before we even met it seems we made some of the same ones.

One of them was “The White Smoke”… 

 Me first: I had a Ford Anglia and, before I dropped a 1500cc Cortina GT engine in it, I tried a few ideas to give the standard 997cc engine  a bit more “poke”.

 Someone mentioned cleaning the carbs and cylinders by dripping a cleaner into the inlet.

 I had grown up being told to use Redex and I do to this day, but I had recently seen a demonstration of Wynn’s for Petrol Engines and bought myself a can.

 I was also told that I should drive far out into the country to use the stuff ‘cos it produced a bit of white smoke.

 Hey, I was 20… so on my drive in a quiet little cul-de-sac on the outskirts of Crewe, I popped the bonnet, took the air filter off and, with the engine running, started dripping the stuff into the inlet.

 Within seconds I was enveloped in a cloud of white smoke…

 Whoops, air filter back on (remember the old days when you just stuck it on top of the carb, hardly even bothered tightening the clip?) and went for a quick drive out into the country.

 Eventually I found the entrance to a field and started again.  The clouds of smoke arrived, as did, fairly soon after, a farmer with a fire extinguisher. 

 Still it did seem to have improved the engine a bit. But then I got offered the Cortina GT engine and another chapter began…

 Bill was on a mate’s drive in Potters Bar. Fortunately, his family were out but PB was covered in a smoke screen after Bill used a product called Piston-seal in his 850 Mini van. It was supposed to seal worn rings or cylinders but as he says, given another 45+ years experience, it is difficult to see how it could have worked anyway !

 Dennis’ story involved a Territorial Army armoury – and a LOT of fire engines!

——————————————————-

———————————————

I’ve got a flip-key for my L322. A lot of people have them of course. There is a problem with mine in that, if the key is turned without grasping the whole body it can pop open. It’s a fiddly job to get back together, particularly getting the little spring back in properly.

 I rarely do it myself these days but many times when it’s been in a workshop it comes back with the spring not quite fitted correctly. They’ve popped it and put it back together as best they can.

 Then I had an idea. Now when I take it somewhere I flip it open beforehand and tie it together with a small tie wrap. Mechanics don’t care if they can’t close it and I just cut it off when I get it back.

—————————————————

_________________________________________

Having owned a plethora of old Land Rover products I’m used to sqeaks and rattles as I proceed on my merry way.

 However, the L322 is a different kettle of fish. It’s mostly quiet – being a plushmobile.

 That was until an annoying squeak started from the back of the motor.

 It didn’t take long to find the cause. One of the parcel shelf locating pins had snapped off so the shelf was moving up and down. Only slightly but it was enough.

 Replacing the pin was another story entirely. Not just fiddly but, it seemed no matter how I looked at it, impossible. Then our friends at Powerfuluk came to the rescue yet again.

 The guy who does their videos, Simon I think, had come up with an ingenious way to replace a broken pin.

 Took me less than ten minutes to get rid of that squeak  once I’d received the new pins – which I bought from Powerfuluk of course !

 Here’s the link… er… no it isn’t. I’ve tried to put the link to the video from YouTube in here six times now and I’ve given up ‘cos no matter what I do the bloody video itself comes up.

 Dunno what I’m doing wrong. I’m sure I’ve posted video links before but life is too short to spend all day on it.

 Just open YouTube, type in Powerfuluk and hunt through their videos for “Range Rover L322 Rear Cargo Cover / Parcel Shelf Repair / Pin Replacement”. There are loads more vids to interest you an’ all – for all models of Land Rover, not just my L322.

—————————————————

—————————————————-

There was another of “those” items on the TV news the other day. You know, the dead donkey stories that they can drop if something interesting comes up.

 This story was about the latest driverless car technology and, part way through a reporter telling us how weird it was to sit with your hands and feet off the controls although you had to be ready at all times to take control if the vehicle told you to, I had a thought – why driverless cars ?

 I mean, just what is the point ? They are not the thing of Si-Fi films where you sit back and go to sleep, or write your latest column/blog. You have to be alert at all times.

 So why have them at all ? I simply don’t see the point.

———————————————————

Quintin Aspin, an email buddy, wrote: “In a new personal record of saving it until you need it, yesterday I used a small fiber washer that my father saved from rebuilding the SU carburetors on his triumph TR3a in the early 1960s to seal the drain plug on my Volkswagen when I changed the oil. That’s right, I saved the part in a drawer for more than 50 years and I used it today. I knew it would come in handy eventually!”

———————————————————

On Facebook a bloke asked for recommendations as to which tyre pump he should buy. My response was that whichever he decided upon, he should buy two ‘cos the time will come when he needs to alternately use them. Allowing one to cool down while the other worked hard.

 A perfectly reasonable bit of advice, you might suppose, based on 53 years driving and pumping up tyres. At least forty of those in off-road situations. 

 Ah but, other respondents trolled me, pointing out that they had bought the Acme 2000, or the Bloggs Super and it had repeatedly aired up nearly flat tyres in the hugest sizes you could imagine. <sigh>

———————————————————-

I came across a piece on Youtube. A guy was showing how to modify a Range Rover dvd player so you can watch a dvd while you are driving.

 He did point out that Land Rover have made it so you can’t watch a dvd while driving. And he also mentioned that in many States (he’s American) it is illegal to watch a dvd while driving.

 What sort of nutter is this guy ?

—————————————————-

The September issue of Damien Turner’s Mud Life Magazine is out there on tinternet right now. The usual great read and Free of course. Just click here – after you’ve finished m’blog : http://bit.ly/TML-issue18

—————————————————-

 I was just emerging from the garage when a rather tatty Ser 3 pulled up at the end of my drive.

 A bloke got out and looked at me.

 “Mr Elson ? Frank Elson, the Land Rover writer ?”

  …er… “Yes, I write about Land Rovers, what can I do for you?”

 “I’m ******* ( I missed the name, my beloved Marjorie says my hearing’s going in my old age but I claim people mutter more, and talk when a car is going past on the road, stuff like that – I heard raindrops on the window yesterday, before anyone else) I’ve just bought this Land Rover, I was told you live here. I’ve got a bit of a problem.”

 I could see what the problem was, well, one problem anyway. From the tatty state of the motor, there could well have been some more I couldn’t see.

 The one I could see was a nearly flat rear tyre.

 No problem, I could put some air in that.

 It appeared, however, that he’d got a pump and he’d put air into the tyre three times in a two mile drive…

 …and he didn’t have a spare wheel…

…and it didn’t end there.

 Yep, I could also see there were only four wheel nuts, and they were loose and had allowed the wheel to move about so that the lug holes were oval-shaped.

 While the tyre might just have been u/s the wheel was decidedly what we call VSF (Very Seriously Broken).

 Look, I know that it’s twenty years or so since I last owned a Ser 3 Land Rover. But that spare wheel and tyre at the back of the garage might be useful one day.

 In fact, it was just about to be useful, although I wouldn’t offer up a lot of hope for the tyre. It was still in better condition than the punctured one on the iffy wheel.

 It would get him to the nearest tyre place anyway.

 Rather than work on the wheel on the road I directed my new friend up the drive to park outside my garage. (“Up there mate”.)

 I have one of those extendable wheel braces these days. It takes up less space than the old spider brace plus three foot of scaffold pole. So I whipped the extendable out to crack off the four lug nuts before rolling the hydraulic jack underneath.

 Yes, I checked it was in gear and the handbrake was on even tho’ right outside the garage is one of the flattest areas of concrete on earth – I know it is, I laid the thing ten years ago.

 Oof, these muthas were on tight… er, no, they couldn’t be, else how could the wheel move about enough to oval the lug holes ? 

 Marj brought the coffee out. I hummed a bit. I lifted the wheel off the ground a bit on the trolley jack. The wheel was loose – and the wheel nuts were rusted on.

 Okay, let the jack down, spray the nuts with penetrating oil (not WD40, it does lots of things but it doesn’t penetrate and it’s not a lubricant) and finish the coffee.

 Mr Asterisk admired my Range Rover, my garage and my tools and said that was the set-up he wanted one day. I pointed out that it took me 70 years to get it together and I handed him the wheel brace again.

 Not a thing… I had played the heart disease card and the one-armed card but I could tell that he was really trying.

 I’m very protective of my cordless impact driver (or wheel nut gun as they are known), and a little suspicious if truth be told. I use it on my own wheel nuts once they are cracked off but I don’t like to submit a little cordless electric motor to much. However, I decided to give it a go…

 …nope. Still nothing.

 To the back of the garage and the old three foot length of scaffold pipe. Slid it over the brace and, “heave…” there was a cracking noise and something moved!

 Within a few minutes, still hard work but three of the nuts were at least turning. Now the gun could do its stuff once we had the trolley jack back in place with an axle stand doing its thing.

 Number four, however, wasn’t moving for anything we had tried so far.

 I heated the wheel nut with the blowlamp until it glowed red – nothing, and I’ve never known that sort of heat to not work.

 There was one last thing to try before the nut splitter, I reckoned.

 I got one of my bottle hydraulic jacks out and carefully positioned it under the wheel brace, as close to the nut as I could get it and having taken a few minutes to work out which way was anti-clockwise. Then, very carefully started to lift. In effect this was attempting to lift the entire vehicle on one wheel nut.

 No crack, no drama, but at last we could see the nut start to turn and the wheel brace, which had been ever-so-slightly below the horizontal, started to straighten out.

 What a relief that was. Now it was the work of just a few minutes to get all the nuts off and then the knackered wheel.

 I handed Mr Asterisk a drill with a wire wheel on it and told him to get to cleaning the wheel stud threads while I set to with a smaller wire wheel on my dremel copy on the inside of the nuts. Then I had a look through some of my boxes of bits and, of course came up with a wheel nut that fitted although I wouldn’t like to guess what vehicle it originally came off. Given my history I certainly couldn’t bet against a Land Rover !

 On with my “spare” wheel – luckily, given the different widths of wheel and sizes of tyre there are to choose from it was the right size – and a little safety lecture from me about the age of the tyre and the general condition of the motor, as in: “don’t drive far, or fast, and get the whole motor checked over by a professional asap”. To this the reply was that it was going straight into his garage to be stripped down for a rebuild.

 …and off he went.

 To Marjorie’s questions of who was he and where was he from I was able to answer, “dunno” to both. I just never seemed to get ‘round to asking. We wondered if I would ever see my spare wheel again. But it was an old wheel and just taking up space in the garage so he was welcome to it.

  … and then… about a week later a delivery van pulled up outside Elson Towers. Not a rare occurrence in these days of lockdown, we seem to buy everything from tinternet.

 The guy had two boxes. One for me contained a bottle of Jameson’s whiskey (proving he has read my stuff for some years) and one for the beloved Marjorie had a bunch of flowers inside.

 There was no sender’s address so we still don’t know our new friend’s real name.

 So if you read this Mr Asterisk, pop in for a brew sometime and let us know how you are getting on with the Series rebuild. You can keep the wheel by the way.

——————————————————

Bill Jones has added a Ford Explorer to his stable.

 It’s needed a bit of fettling and he recently bought an ignition pack.

 He had to import it from the States. Including postage the whole thing cost him half of what I paid for the ignition pack for my P38 which was made in this country.

 So, no surprise there, then.

—————————————————

I “followed” a new-to-me page on Instagram about Defenders.

 Would it be wrong of me to point out that the very first photograph I saw on that page was of a 1983 110 (the front sliding windows are the clue) which, of course was NOT a Defender ?

 I’ve been a journalist all of my working life and facts are very important – but are they really that important when we’re just talking about pretty pics of Land Rovers ?

 When I worked for one of my newspapers and I described a road as “cobbled” I received quite a few letters explaining that what I was writing about were “setts” not cobbles – and explaining the differences. Look it up if you care.

 For well over thirty years the Coronation Street TV set has been described as “cobbled”. They’re not. They’re setts. I don’t shout at the telly anymore, but I may mutter occasionally.

It appears that we have found an MP in the UK Parliament who has a bit of sense.

 …no, listen, stop laughing. By the law of averages it had to happen one day.

 Karl McCartney, MP for Lincoln, was questioning Transport Secretary Grant Shapps over the Government’s plans for more people to change over to electric cars at a hearing of the Commons Transport Select Committee.

 Mr McCartney said: “Some of us believe that the best form of transport, car wise, and perhaps most environmental friendly, is to keep older cars on the road.

 “You will admit that even electric cars actually do produce pollution, not only in the raw materials and energy used to manufacture them, but also in the fact the electricity has to be produced somewhere ? “

 Shapps, not surprisingly, just churned out the party line that analysis by the Department of Transport showed manufacturing and running an electric car is: “far more environmentally friendly than petrol or diesel.”

 Well, he would say that wouldn’t he ?

 Many, many, years ago I wrote a column that argued the same point as Karl McCartney, although not necessarily electric, but all new cars.

 The oft-quoted statement that 70 per cent of all Land Rovers made are still on the road is, of course, a load of b*ll*cks or what those of us with some knowledge of polls and statistic gathering call “a wild guess”.

 However, what is definitely not guesswork  is a walk around any gathering of Land Rovers at a show. 

 Old Land Rovers last a long time. Even my “modern plushmobile” L322 Range Rover is 14 years old – it was built before any of my great-grandchildren were born.

 There they are at any gathering. Rows and rows of “old” vehicles helping to save the environment by not using new materials or energy.

 Many of them are kept on the road by scavenging used parts – another saving on materials and energy (although the energy Dennis Taylor and I used thirty years ago to strip an old Range Rover of its side frames when rebuilding my 1972 classic, OSM, was considerable, it was a different sort of energy).

 And most are repaired or maintained either at home or in smaller garages where the electricity bill for lighting is a tiny fraction of that used by new car showrooms and manufacturing plants.

 And, of course, it isn’t only Land Rovers that are a part of this environmentally friendly world. From real classic vehicles that go to shows to fifteen-year-old saloons owned by young girls and kept on the road by dad or boyfriend every single one of them is contributing to that saving of raw materials and energy.

 And very year that goes by makes your old motor even more environmentally friendly!

————————————————

From some good news to some not-so.

 A few weeks ago Boris Johnson announced that the ban on petrol and diesel cars in the UK is being brought forward by five years from 2040 to 2035.

  And not only has it been moved five years but it also includes hybrid cars, so every new car sold after 2035 must be full electric or hydrogen.

 Now, that nice little 15-year-old Corsa or Micra with the pink steering wheel cover that is maintained and repaired by daddy or boyfriend that I mentioned above, aside, not many family or smaller cars last much longer than 15 years.

 So, when the ban comes into effect – in 15 years time – every car that is scrapped will be replaced by an electric one.

 And every year after that there will be fewer and fewer petrol and diesel engined vehicles and more and more electric vehicles.

 And where do you suppose those of us still driving our Land Rovers, Range Rovers and various classics will be buying our petrol and diesel ?

 If the majority of cars on the road don’t need petrol or diesel then the fuel companies will stop selling it.

 Wouldn’t you ?

 

—————————————————

 It seems electrocar owners are as mean and stingy as the rest of us – no, sorry, I mean careful – about spending on  fuel.

 An email I read said that the ecotricity company is cheaper “by some margin” than geniepoint. “A typical fill up at ecotricity is £10.50 whereas geniepoint are (sic) £11.50.”

———————————————————

Like any safety-conscious motorist I reverse into my drive so I can drive out forrards onto a busy road.

 Last week while I was reversing up the drive, I had my usual quick scan of all the dials and lights on the dashboard and was greeted by the temp gauge heading inexorably towards the red.

 I was out of the way of traffic and people so shut down the engine straightaway.

 Got out, had a look under the front and watched gallons of orange coolant pouring out onto the concrete.

 It’s a good job I use an OAT coolant as well ‘cos the flow led to the rhubarb…

 I let the motor cool down for an hour then started up and moved back the ten feet that puts my Rangie where it lives, behind six-foot high gates.

 Shut it down again, before the gauge had even moved in fact, and waited for it to cool down again so I could “weigh the job up”.

 Then Bill Jones turned up for the “social distancing boys night in” that has replaced our regular boys night out at the pub. We have our beers on camping tables in my garage which is plenty big enough for keeping well over the two metres distance apart. Alternate weeks at his…

 Obviously I mentioned the earlier fun and games so he suggested we have a quick look. Of course I was expecting all sorts of horror stories like radiator or water pump.

 …and there it was… a rusted and broken jubilee clip that should have been attaching a hose to the bottom of the coolant reservoir. Bill had the correct size in his gas plumbing kit in the back of his motor.

 What ? Five minutes to pop the clip on and tighten it up, if that.

 As my anti-freeze was pretty low I had to go get another five litres the next day and then started the slow process of topping up with anti-freeze and water. 

 It took two effing days to top up, bleed, top up, bleed…

 I do miss the old days. Take the great big radiator cap off. Top up with whatever. Turn the engine on. Watch the water disappear down into the radiator, top up again. Watch a few bubbles appear, top up until the water starts to warm up. Squeeze the top hose a bit as the thermostat opens…

 Oh, and don’t forget, before all this, to turn the heater on to high…

 About a thousand years ago I didn’t know that I was supposed to turn my heater up when refilling the V8 in my SD1… in December…after replacing the water pump…

 A 230 mile journey without a working heater (air-locked in case anyone needs it explained) in winter served to teach me to never do that again.

 

—————————————————

The local police in Blackburn, Lancashire, where I live, pulled a van with false plates recently. 

 Nothing odd about that, you might think, except the plonker who made up the plates used a number that will not be issued for four years !

—————————————————-

…and finally, although nothing to do with motoring as such – is it possible to cut cheese, for any recipe, without eating a piece ?

When I was ill a few months ago my Range Rover L322 battery went flat.

 And I’ll bet mine hasn’t been the only one through the current pandemic.

 Some joker said that at the end of lock-down there will be 23 million women ‘phoning their hairdresser on the same day. I added that there will also be 23 million men ‘phoning the  breakdown service to report a flat battery.

 Despite being one of those people in isolation ‘cos of my age and health, I was able to jump start her from my beloved Marjorie’s tin-box. I could leave the house because we’re all gated-up at the back.

 (An amusing aside here. I got the email from my doctor telling me to isolate at a time when I was so ill I couldn’t get out of bed !)

 I had to use the key in the vehicle door to get in – the remote wouldn’t work, that’s how flat the battery was.

 Eventually my Rangie was all charged and I could motor up and down my drive every couple of days to get all the fluids flowing and to keep the battery up to snuff – but I couldn’t get the remote to work.

 I had a look in the owner’s manual. No use. I had a trawl through tinternet. No use.

 So eventually I mailed my incredibly clever mate Luke Dickinson who used to sell replacement remote-control keys for  a lot less than Land Rover charged. In fact, I have one of his.

 By return Luke sent me a link ‘cos he said it was too complicated to write down.

 It’s a Youtube video from our old friends at Powerful UK who not only sell all sorts of nice things for Land Rovers and other off-roaders, but also produce loads of “how to” videos. Needless to say, after I’d follow the instructions in the video I was back to having a working remote key system ! I know the link looks weird, but from my side of the commuter screen it works.

 https://youtu.be/T5Z8ZTEpLvE

—————————————————-

____________________________________

 

Have you noticed – UK readers – that every car company TV commercial these days is for electrical vehicles ?  Every blinking one.

 The debate is going on and on – but petrolheads and dieselheads have lost. Electric cars are coming whether we like it or not. Even Jaguar Land Rover are producing them

 I’m not against electricity as a motive force in itself. We need engines and electricity is as good as petrol or diesel… in theory…

 What I am bothered about are the bits and pieces. From how do you charge your car if you live in a high-rise block of flats or terrace house, to where that charge is coming from. 

 These days I don’t believe anything I read or hear until I have checked it out myself from at least three different sources. That’s the abomination of “fake news” that makes me – a professional journalist all my working life – sick to the stomach. However, I have heard from a number of sources that the UK doesn’t have enough Power Station capacity to charge all the electric cars that would be needed to replace all the infernal (sic) combustion engined vehicles on the road. And there isn’t enough time to build enough to stick to government deadlines.

 And that’s assuming our highways authorities can actually provide the country with enough charging points.

 Then we have the physical problem of replacing all the infernal-engined vehicles with electric. 

 “Hello Mr Bloggs, this is the government. We noticed that you own a Ser 1 Land Rover/(insert any classic car here). This won’t do. You must scrap it tomorrow and buy an electric-engined vehicle…”

————————————————————- 

_________________________________________

Have you got a head torch ? Or, rather, have you got three head torches ?

 You should have. You should have one in your car; one in your workshop and one in your house – where you used to keep the candles and nowadays keep a torch . 

 My “workshop” one is actually in my fishing waistcoat (vest in some parts of the world) which hangs up in my workshop so…

 A head torch is one of the most useful items there is. Just make sure you change the batteries at least once a year and you’ll be fine – unless you have one of the modern rechargeable jobbies.

———————————————————-

 Last month I told you about Robert Lloyd’s superb pictures of Land Rovers and how he can do one of yours from a photograph. Then I forgot to put a link… doh!

 He doesn’t have a website of his own but you can find him via https://www.facebook.com/robert.lloyd.1420  

———————————————————

The Range Rover Owner club has brought out an absolutely superb sticker to celebrate the 50th anniversary.

 The first batch sold out immediately and they had to order more. I suspect they’ll be needing more …and more…and more… 

 If you want one here’s the link: https://www.facebook.com/groups/RangeRoverOwner/

 

——————————————————

My mate Bill Jones has been doing some tidying up of old files during the recent enforced rest (haven’t we all…er… I’ve tried anyway)

 He found a letter I wrote to Off Road and Four Wheel Drive Magazine in 1985 when he was writing for them.

 In it I refer to the fact that both Bill and I were commuting into Manchester city centre at the time and that muddy, Lightweight Land Rovers with roll cages and bullbar were the perfect commuting vehicles.

…even black cabs got out of our way !

————————————————————-

Next to spotting Land Rovers in films and TV shows is continuity mistake spotting.

 Like me, I guess most of you will have given up hope that anyone making detective programmes for television will ever get a grip on the differences between a rifle, a shotgun, a shell and a bullet. (A guy the other day told a detective that he used his .308 rifle loaded with dum-dums for shooting crows!) 

 I did see a nice one in a Midsomer Murder repeat the other day that is worth mentioning. We left a yard full of old Land Rovers and went into a barn where, on a shelf, was a row of old UK petrol cans – the ones they used to throw away during WW2  and replace with jerrycans whenever possible.

 One of these was used to start a fire and the baddie was caught because he went out and bought another “from the local petrol station” … er… Mr. Barnaby, sir, he really didn’t buy one from a petrol station in the 21st century…

————————————————-

 Minutes before the crash this Range Rover was clocked by Lancashire Police at 100mph in a 30mph zone. I’m not sure if the driver is in a healthy enough state to be done for the speeding offence just yet…